dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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