No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
