Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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