genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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