textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize