i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
