You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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