don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
