i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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