He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
