He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
