I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
