I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
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I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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