Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
