this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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