He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
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Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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