Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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