I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
