Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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