yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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