Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
