I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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