Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize