i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
