hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
