whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
