K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
