Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A+ Viking dick
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
