It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize