Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize