just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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