Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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