Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
