escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
