I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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