Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
