Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
