I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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