i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
