weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
