Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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