She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
