i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
