i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
