period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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