OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I believe in your delicious
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
