im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
