i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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