absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
