We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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