But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
