Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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