So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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