real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
